Don't Take Drugs
by Bossuma
Summary: Hijikata gets drugged, and Okita hires Gintoki to take care of him. GinHiji. B.L-abeled Yaoi.


**Rating: T**

**Pairing: Hiji/Gin**

**Warning: Perverted dreams, evil Okita. Beware. **

**Disclaimer: Belongs to Sorachi-san. End of story. **

**Don't Take Drugs**

One look at the Vice Commander, and Okita could definitely figure out that he wasn't exactly having a nightmare. In fact, with all the groans and moans, and gasps, not too mention murmurs, he was having one of those dreams.

Of course, Okita was on one of his nightly "walks" that just happened to take place in the owl hours. Under this masquerade, the orange head had taken to watching the commander sleep, under the pretenses that people were more likely to let something slip through their dreams into reality.

And after 2 days and approx 16 hours, it was finally paying off. Okita could barely contain his smirking mirth at his success.

Now, he just had to find out the identity of the person or cause of obsession, and he was all set. That commander spot would surely be only his. After all, he could get Hijikata, or the obstacle obliterated, if he were to be lured by lust. Then, Okita would be able to take his rightly fully deserved position next to Kondo. All according to plan.

Okita gave a low chuckle, and just continued to watch.

And watch and watch.

He kept a recorded log, conveniently labeled "Shisengumi Rulebook."

A week usually crawled by:

Monday: Slight activity lasting from 1:36-2:18. Ceased to occasional slow grunting,

Tuesday: No activity.

Wednesday: No activity.

Thursday: Few gasps, leading to moans- 4:35. Target woke up-4:45. Sweating, panting. Twisting in blankets. Used nearby tissues.

Friday: Slight activity. 5:10.

Slightly put off from the lack off progress, (Hijikata kept only to grunts and named no names), Okita had also taken to following the captain around but like a silent wall, Hijikata's only emotions were annoyance, and the occasional sentimentality. The dog sure barked at the squirrels a lot, too.

This transpired for the next four weeks, much to Okita's growing dismay and impatience. Until one night.

Okita had gotten back from the bathroom, when he heard sounds coming from the room. He quickly climbed into the attic and scurried in the low dark space, to peek through a hole in Hijikata's ceiling.

He looked.

Hijikata was twisting and turning. His unruly hair was tousled in different ways, as sweat beaded in telltale drops on his scrunched forehead. His normally pale cheeks were a blushing red, and they got redder. Hijikata mumbled incoherently.

"Nhhhnn…s-s-top, guhh."

Okita raised an eyebrow, his interest sparking. The so called Demon Vice Commander was being bottomed in his fantasy? Smirking, Okita returned to his task.

More pants. Hijikata's back arched dangerously, his fists clenched the sheets and his face twisted. "Nhh, ahh! Not there…ha..ha…nhhngh."

Okita watched his face completely bored. It would be another waste of time, if he was unable to achieve any information, on the identity of the person that seemed to be the cause of the wet dreams. He propped his elbow up, and casually plucked off a dust bunny that had nuzzled into his sleeve.

Honestly, he swore to Kami that he was going to kill something quick and soon if the name didn't come up already. All these sleepless nights weren't doing him…then he heard it.

"Gin…toki. You perm-headed bastard."

Okita couldn't help but contain his happiness. So it was Danna-san! Okita cackled silently to himself. He looked into the hole again, and saw Hijikata had climbed out of bed. No doubt he was heading for the restroom, to clean up.

"Gintoki..huh."

Phase One. Complete.

------------------

Hijikata looked at himself in the mirror. Most of the blush had gone away, with a few slaps of cold water onto his face. He scowled at himself. Giving into his affections like that. And what bothered him mostly, was why? What did he find in that lazy, silver headed samurai anyways?

Hijikata gave a hopeless sigh, as if trying to answer that question.

Well, there was certainly no doubt that he was attracted to the samurai…and hell no, he wasn't homo either.

How could he, be a homo? He laughed hysterically, and immediately stopped, planting a solemn, gaze into the mirror.

No, he wasn't gay…not him….he just happened to have those dreams with the samurai. Sometimes.

Yeah, there were some dreams that he wasn't in it, with girls, right? RIGHT?

Hijikata thought hard.

And sunk into the state of depression that usually follows denial.

Trying to think rationally, he thought to himself. What was it about the samurai that haunted his dreams. He conjured up a picture of Gintoki in his mind's eye.

He had that annoying curly white hair that always pissed him off. Why couldn't he comb it down or anything? That rich obnoxious voice, that always poured like honey over his head. Those deep red eyes that always made him feel like he was being put in an x-ray. His sturdy back that always made him feel ….WAIT A MINUTE. What was he saying? No it couldn't be it. Couldn't be. Couldn't be. He couldn't deny it, but could it be? That….that….that…

Hijikata completely shook his head. He was NOT attracted to that idiot. No way in the world. Not even for all the mayonnaise in the world.

Which brought him back to the mayonnaise dream he just had. Of hot wet tongues, and…

Not for the first time that night, Hijikata blushed again.

GAHH. He slapped himself literally to get rid off the thoughts before they did anything else. He involuntarily shuddered.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Giving another sigh, Hijikata washed his face off and gave a deep scowl.

Another Hijikata scowled back at him from the mirror.

It really was that idiot's fault.

----------

"Hijikata-kun." Okita drawled, leaning against the door. "We've got another drug suspect's location pinned down at a warehouse 15 minutes from here."

Hijikata looked up from his the pile of papers on his desk and gave the vice-commander an annoyed glance. "What are you waiting for then? Do you want me to come with you?"

"You're most familiar with the area after all."

"Cheh. All right. Yamazaki. Take over and get this paperwork done for me." The badminton lover immediately stood at attention, and shed a few tears when he looked at the large piles that Hijikata pointed to.

"But Hijikata-san, I've got a badminton tournament comin-" He quieted down when he saw the black lines under Hijikata's face.

"Understood…"

"Good, I expect them to be all done by the time I get back." And he left with Okita.

Yamazaki sniffled, and set out to work.

-----------

"Gin-san, Kagura and I are going to visit my sister for the weekend, to help her with some housework. We won't be back until Monday. Gin-san?"

"He's not awake, yet. Let's just leave him a note. Gin-san always says to leave a note before leaving."

Shinipachi unconsciously fixed his glasses, and looked around for a pencil and a piece of paper. He neatly printed his message.

"We'll leave this by the fridge then."

Doing so, they left, leaving Gintoki snoring.

---------

"Mmmmpmhh." Gintoki stretched, feeling his limbs cracking and popping. He got up, and ran a hand through his ruffled hair, attempting to tame the mess.

It was awfully silent. He walked to the kitchen to get a glass of strawberry milk, a daily ritual.

He saw the note, and plucked it off the fridge, leaving it on the counter. He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of cold heaven. Enjoying the sweet taste, he examined the clock. 4 p.m. Last night had really done a number on him. That was the last time in a long time that he would decide to splurge on the booze again.

Hmm. He scratched his head, and yawned. He itched his foot, nonchalantly. Sauntering into the main room, he slipped into his kimono and tightened his belt. Dust poured in through the wooden barred window.

It was awfully lonely.

Gintoki shook his head, as if trying to shake off sentimentality. And walked over to the couch, sitting, and then eventually laying down.

He yawned again. Maybe he would take another nap. After all, it was early in the afternoon anyway.

-----------

Knock. Knock.

"Hello. Anyone in? Danna-san." Okita knocked impatiently on the wooden paper door that served as the entrance to the Yorozuya. Hijikata was sure causing a ruckus. The Demonic Vice Commander had been watching a ladybug crawl along on the wooden railing, and he was currently trying to follow it.

Okita sighed. He hadn't realized that Hijikata would turn into such a problem, once he was drugged. He had told the man to only give him a few ounces of it, not a freaking few bottles. Idiot. The drug, Satin, was pretty powerful. It caused its users to experience an abnormal amount of bliss, and adapt an animalistic personality. Probably explained why Hijikata was now trying to follow the ladybug, as it flew into the night air, much like a curious pup.

Okita gave a tug on the rope leash he had kept in his pocket just in case of emergencies, and Hijikata was saved from jumping off the two story balcony. He sighed, as Hijikata got up and climbed onto him, humming like a child.

"Jeez. Danna-san. Open the door please."

There was still no response. So, Okita slid the door open and went in.

It was completely dark, and there was some soft snores from the couch. Okita turned on the lights, and proceeded to wake up Gintoki. He bent over the closed white lashes, and blew as hard as he could.

Gintoki twitched and turned over, mumbling something that sounded like "turn off the air conditioning, banana freak."

"Neh, you sure are a really laid back guy to leave your door open while you sleep."

Gintoki grunted as if answering that. Hijikata who had been twirling Okita's hair, now turned his attention to the sleeping samurai.

He cocked his head, lightly touching their heads together. Hijikata blinked, and looked down at Gintoki. He unlatched himself from Okita's back, and landed on the floor much like a cat. Okita sighed, and poked the sleeping samurai in the shoulder.

"Hey. Hey, wake up. Danna-san, I've got a small job for you."

Gintoki still didn't wake up. Okita sighed, as he walked to the other couch. He was careful not to let Hijikata off his leash. He was currently on the table, crouched watching Gintoki sleep. Okita gave a rough yank on his leash, causing Hijikata to fly backwards. The table was kicked in the process, sending it smack into the silver headed samurai's face.

Gintoki knocked off the table, and looked at Okita. He calmly placed the table back where it was, and then, offered him a cup of tea.

"No tea, thank you. I'm here to ask you for a favor."

"Another favor, huh. It's not some girl problem of yours, is it?" He yawned and leaned his head back, attempting to rub some of the sleep out of his eyes.

"No, I would like you to watch Hijikata-san for me. He was drugged during a raid I assume, you've heard of Satin, that new drug on the market."

Gintoki's eyes narrowed at the product.

"Satin, huh. It's that stuff that usually lasts for a day or so….More importantly, why should I have to watch this blockheaded smoker anyway?"

"In the state he's in, he'll end up being more trouble." And to prove his point, Hijikata had stopped his humming, and had a dead serious look on his face. This lasted until Gintoki realized that, the commander had just wet the couch.

Gintoki yelled. "Gah, get him off! I'll get killed if that couch gets ruined!….And I'm sorry to say this, but we don't accept baby-sitting jobs anymore." Gintoki held his nose in disgust at the newly acquired wet stain.

Okita smiled, and pulled out a thick wad of cash. Gintoki immediately grabbed it and stored it in his blue-lined kimono.

"So, when do you want him back?"

"When the drug wears off, and Hijikata-san is recovered. Everything at the Shinsengumi involving the accident has been taken care of." Okita handed him the rope leash, and got up to leave, brushing his jacket off.

"You didn't happen to drug him yourself, did you?" Okita stopped. Gintoki was a lot sharper than he looked. He turned and gave a small disarming smile.

"Now why would I?"

The commander left.

"See you, boss."

Gintoki was left standing dazed. With a leashed Hijikata.

The fun was just beginning.

----------------

"Chech. That guy might know something.."

Gintoki gave an exasperated sigh, as he surveyed the damage yet again. "Hijikata..look at what you've done now. I'm gonna have to explain to the old hag, why I've managed to ruin her couch twice this week. And on top of that.."

Hijikata made whimpering sounds. Gintoki stopped in his rant and looked down at the commander. He looked really piteous, like a puppy waiting to be scorned. The samurai sighed. There was no helping it. Satin must be one powerful, damned drug. Gintoki scratched his head.

"Well, let's get you cleaned up then." He sighed, and Hijikata crawled on all fours with him to the bathroom. Gintoki couldn't help but suppress a small chuckle at the sight. He turned on the bath water, and water rushed out of the faucet. Steam filled the room.

"Stay here okay? And don't you move. I'm going to get you some clothes." He loosened the rope around Hijikata's neck. Hijikata gave him a nod, and proceeded to scratch himself with a free hand.

When Gintoki returned with one of his pajamas, Hijikata was sitting in the same place, and watching the water fill the tub. Gintoki blinked. He had expected more trouble as Okita had promised. Looks like even when he was drugged, Hijikata didn't like listening to the sadist.

"Kay…mmm..let's see. I'll leave you to bathe, and….umm.." Hijikata tilted his head to one side.

Gintoki sighed again.

"You have to take off your clothes first."

Hijikata looked down at the uniform he wore, and tried to take off his shirt. This got him into a tangled mess of leather and cloth.

"Tchh..looks like I have to help you." said Gintoki as he peeled off his kimono, and was left in his black leather outfit.

Rolling up his sleeves and crouching next to the commander, he expertly unbuttoned Hijikata's coat, and then his shirt. He was taken a bit back by his flawless abdomen. He was expecting some scars, but instead, there was a well-formed chest. Gintoki was suddenly aware of how close Hijikata had leaned into him. It must have been the steam that was making him so hot. His fingers stopped at the commander's waistband of his pants. Gintoki gave a mental groan. How exactly did he end up in this situation again? Trying not to look, he quickly fumbled with the zipper, and after a century, managed to get Hijikata out of his damned tight pants. Now there was just the large obstacles of his boxers, which was a plain gray color. Gintoki gulped and stripped Hijikata of his soiled boxers.

Making sure the garments were kicked into a pile, he turned off the running water in the tub, and was careful not to look at Hijikata's private areas. Gintoki never minded walking in the nude out in public, but it was embarrassing to see others like that.

"Errhhmmm, well the water's done, so you can climb in now." Hijikata pawed the water with his hand, admiring the water which sifted through his fingers.

"…don't tell me….that you don't know how…" Gintoki mentally kicked himself. This was what hell must be like. Or heaven for those screaming fangirls.

Gin sighed, and picked Hijikata up.

"You're surprisingly light. I thought you'd be a bit heavier with all that mayo you eat."

Instead of his trademark glare, Hijikata gave him a puzzled look.

Gintoki lowered him slowly into the water, and was prepared to release him. At the contact of water though, Hijikata flinched and grabbed Gin causing him to trip and land into the bathtub. He sputtered and looked up to see Hijikata's flushed, pale face. Gintoki felt something press against his abdomen. S-s-s-shoot.

"Ehhh…."

The look on his face was complete shock. He really hadn't expected it to turn out like this. Hijikata, with his black hair all soaked, looked completely delicious. Those sharp blue eyes were burning brightly, branding him speechless. Gintoki flushed and immediately struggled to get up, water running down his chest. He thanked God that Shinpachii and Kagura were out. How would he explain to them, if they suddenly walked in.

Then, Hijikata leaned in, a wet, dripping mess, and licked him, his tongue running against his cheek. He then proceeded to nuzzle him, humming happily to himself. Gintoki flushed and restrained himself from jumping the commander. He realized that Hijikata was behaving just like a dog. Was this the effect of Satin? No way was this happening. He struggled to get upright, trying to set his mind straight. It proved hard to, when Hijikata latched on to him in a strong grip.

"Hmnn. Gintoki."

"Nehh. Ahahahahahaha. " After flushing and getting his heads out of the clouds, Gintoki remembered why they were in the bathtub and reached for the pink strawberry shampoo that he usually used. Pouring globs of it into Hijikata's hair, he began to scrub through the black dripping locks. He peeled Hijikata away from him.

"Nhh..See, Hijikata-kun, this is how you use shampoo." He added a glob to his own white head, and began to use both hands to scrub in quick, swift motions.

"You try now, okay?"

Hijikata cocked his head and attentively brought both hands to his head, and began following what Gintoki was doing. Gintoki smiled, and then gave an uncomfortable wiggle. The soap was dripping down into his shirt. He stepped out of the bathtub, and stripped himself of his clothes.

"Well, I was planning to take a bath anyways." muttered Gintoki.

He climbed back in the tub, feeling a little cramped. Hijikata had begun playing with the bubbles, blowing them into the air and trying to eat them. Gintoki couldn't help but give a small smile.

"Kay, and now you rinse your hair, like this! Make sure no soap gets in your eyes." He cupped water and poured it onto his head. He did this repeatedly until all the soap was gone.

"Then you take this soap, and you wash your parts like this."

-----------------

Gintoki huffed, and sat down on the non-soiled couch. A wet towel lay around his shoulders, and he sat with his legs comfortably spread open. It had taken forever in the bathroom. But Hijikata the pup was now curled and fully dressed, using his leg as a pillow.

Gintoki gave an annoyed glance at the cause of all his stress. And felt himself soften. Hijikata was sleeping so peacefully. It was odd to see him so open, when he was always so tense. After all, he was always shouldering enormous burdens by himself.

Gintoki sighed, and shook his head. What was he thinking. He looked at the clock. It was nearing 9.

He felt sleepy. He nudged Hijikata who murmured something in his sleep.

"Oi, It's time to sleep." Hijikata showed no signs of budging.

Honestly. Gintoki grabbed Hijikata and gently coaxed him into his arms. Then he picked him up to bring him into the other room. Hijikata stirred a bit, but didn't move. Gintoki quietly set him down on the futon, and tucked him in. Making sure he was ready for the night, he proceeded to set up his own futon. He put it next to Hijikata, and went to the bathroom to finish drying his hair. He was too tired to eat.

Yawning, he walked back to his bedroom, to find Hijikata sprawled on the two futons, and snoring quite loudly. His shirt had fallen open, to reveal his broad chest, and his hair was tousled with sleep.

Chasing away his blush, Gintoki made an impatient noise, and stomped over to where Hijikata was asleep, picked him up, and dumped unceremoniously onto the designated futon, with an oomph.

"Mine. YOURS." Gintoki pointed to the spots. Hijikata got up, and growled at him. Gintoki's eyebrow crinkled in annoyance. And he went over to his futon and pulled the sheets over him, turning away, from the commander.

He was just about to fall asleep when he felt something curl on top of the blankets next to his back. He turned and looked down and saw Hijikata's mop of black hair. He looked up, and Gintoki couldn't help but give in to his pleading eyes.

"All right, all right."

Gintoki grudgingly lifted his blankets, inviting the commander in. If Hijikata had a tail to go along with his personality, it would have probably fallen off from excessive wagging.

Hijikata nuzzled against the back of the samurai's neck, sending shivers down his spine. "Gintoki." He lavished his neck with long, slow licks.

"Gin.."

Gintoki couldn't help but become a bit hot. He shifted to face Hijikata, who smiled at him and leaned in to lick his lip. Gintoki flushed and patted Hijikata on the head, pushing him and holding him to his chest. Hijikata, who was stunned at this sudden movement, grew happy. He pushed himself closer to the samurai, his hips and legs intertwining with Gintoki's, and his head finding a comfortable nook under his chin.

Gintoki froze, stiffly, feeling Hijikata's sleek body against his own. His heart pounded quickly, a mile faster than Hijikata's. He shifted a bit, which was a great mistake. Hijikata's body moved with snores, leaving Gintoki in an extremely provocative position.

"Ehh…"

Gintoki silently cursed himself for ending up like this. He swore that he wouldn't do anything to the commander but, he couldn't exactly help it.

He gave a sigh and relaxed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. How would he tell Hijikata though…that he loved him.

He tried to hard to imagine the usually stoic, stern commander who was easily angered, falling for him. Gintoki laughed. It was impossible, no matter how he tried to see it. Hijikata would never fall for someone like him. He would never forget Mitsuba.

Gintoki suddenly felt wetness on his cheeks. Breathing deeply, Gintoki fell into a deep sleep.

-----------------

Gintoki awoke, to see Hijikata half-undressed and pressed closely to him. He blinked and looked at the Justaway alarm clock. It read around 7.

He tried not to wake up Hijikata, and failed miserably. Blue startling eyes drifted open, and then snapped open, meeting his own red ones.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Hijikata quickly unlatched himself, and stumbled away, scooting far far away. Gintoki couldn't help but feel a little hurt. But he didn't show it, as he shot a deadpanned gaze at Hijikata who was hyperventilating. He propped himself uninterestedly one elbow.

"W-w-what are you doing here, bastard?!"

"I was hired to take care of you while you were drugged."

In an ideal world, Hijikata would have apologized and they would have kissed and had hot morning smex, but alas, that was not to be the case. Gintoki almost cursed fate.

Hijikata was busy examining himself, meticulously. "We…we haven't done anything…have we?"

Gintoki examined him, he who was flushed scarlet, and decided to play with him for a bit.

"Well, not counting the way you loved it, I'd say it was a pretty rough and wild night. You were really insisting." Gintoki grinned at Hijikata's flushed reaction. He got up as Hijikata sat there flabbergasted and speechless.

"Hey, I'm just joking. Trust me, I didn't do anything to you." Gintoki yawned and strolled to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, and noticed, he seemed kind of melancholy himself today. Snap out of it, he told himself.

"…are you sure?" Hijikata's black head popped in through the bathroom as Gintoki was brushing his teeth. Gintoki turned on the faucet and finished rinsing.

"Yep. You wet my couch, and I gave you a bath. That's about it." Hijikata flushed. Was it his imagination or did Hijikata seem the slightest bit of disappointed?

Gintoki gave his hair a run through and headed to the kitchen for that strawberry milk. It was ironic how Hijikata followed him, almost unsure of where to go. Just like last night.

"You want a glass?" said Gintoki, as he held up the carton. He painfully added, "before you go."

Hijikata looked at him sadly. "Yeah sure." They stood like that, not knowing really what to say, yet wanting to say it.

Gintoki opened his mouth to say it, and was surprised as Hijikata said it for him.

"I…I was…I was w-wondering,…if maybe.." Gintoki blinked at the impossibility of those words. Hijikata looked away. His insides melted when he saw how cute Hijikata was.

"I can't hear you." Gintoki put down his glass, still half-full. Hijikata was still mumbling. Gintoki stood before him.

"Do you know how extremely cute you can be sometimes?"

Hijikata quickly turned and was surprised to see those red eyes full of emotion. Full of longing. He was stunned when Gintoki began crying silent tears. They streamed down his face in rivers.

"Gintoki…I…" He was swept into his arms, and held close.

"Hijikata, it may seem crazy, but I think I love you."

"Well, then. I want some mayonnaise."

Gintoki looked at him in disbelief, completely stumped by the sudden demand. It felt as if a pan had suddenly fell from the sky and hit him in the head. Hijikata was staring deep into his eyes, almost hypnotic. However, Hijikata didn't pull away. Instead, he pulled Gintoki close and kissed him.

"There. And I demand that you stop crying."

Gintoki couldn't help but laugh. He smiled at Hijikata's scowl.

"You're gonna have to give me a lot more than that you know."

------------------

Fin.

I couldn't bring myself to end on a smut note. I'm sorry. I....I JUST COULDN'T. You know its like wanting to preserve something, like rare collectible or something like that. That, and this is my first fic. I finally brought myself to finish it. (It explains why it's in one long chunk.) Well, it's better than that Naruto or Bleach fic that I never finished. -___-''' --instantly reminded, and guilty.. coughs.

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll write a smut eventually.

...eventually. Before I die from nosebleeds.

R and R.


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